A Return to the Lost
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day eight hundred and nineteen: Quinn knew one day she'd have to own up to Mercedes about what happened after Beth was born.


_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, etc through 38th cycle. Now cycle 39!_

* * *

><p><em><strong>INTRODUCING "CHEAT SHEET" - <strong>If you want to know ahead of time when a certain series will be updated next, just reassemble the link below and check out the list, save it, print it, bookmark it, whatever you need!  
>Go to: <span>gleekathon [dot] tumblr [dot] com [slash] cheatsheet<span>_

_** UPDATED WITH CYCLE 40 CHEAT SHEET ** Check it out to find out about **shift days**, starting in cycle 40!_

* * *

><p><strong>"A Return to the Lost"<br>Quinn & Mercedes **

It was bound to happen eventually. That was what she'd tell herself. At some point, Mercedes would look to her and she'd ask the question Quinn had evaded for so long. She'd wonder what happened to them, to their friendship, and she'd be well within her right to ask her.

They were flying home from New York and Nationals. The mood was not too talkative, everyone still disappointed over the loss. Quinn had the window seat, with Lauren at her side. She spent the start of the flight just staring out the window, lulled by the clouds. The next thing she knew she was waking up.

"How long have I been asleep?" she mumbled to Lauren, wiping at her eyes.

"About twenty minutes." That wasn't Lauren. She turned and there was Mercedes, a pair of headphones around her neck. "I didn't want to wake you."

"Thanks…" Quinn slowly replied. They were quiet for a minute or so after that, neither of them knowing where to start even if they knew where it would go. "How…" she started, stalled, but Mercedes had turned to her, so she'd have to power through. "How's your mom?"

"She's good," Mercedes nodded, smiling. "Yours?"

"Great, she… started dating… It's weird," she admitted. Silence was taking over again, and somehow that unblocked them.

"We were friends, right?" Mercedes asked. Quinn looked to her, nodding.

"Yeah…" her voice diminished.

"So what changed?" Quinn didn't reply. "You know, two years ago I would have imagined you, the cheerleader, and me, the loner, being friends, and I couldn't even really… see it. I could say we weren't the same people, but deep down we kind of were. It's just somewhere along the way, with Glee Club, and getting to know each other, and everything that happened to you, and me… we made it work. We were good friends."

"I know I said it back then but I still mean it… What you and your family did for me… I can't thank you enough."

"What about this last year though?" Mercedes cut in, and Quinn grew silent again. "After you moved back home all of a sudden it was like we'd taken steps backward. And ever since then you've been backing away further and further."

"Mercedes, I'm sorry," she looked back to her, sincere.

"I am, too," she nodded.

"You don't have anything to apologize for, I'm the one who…"

"I must have done something. I've seen how you look at me sometimes."

"What?" Quinn wasn't sure what she meant.

"Like… you remember something, and you look away…" Quinn thought back, and she could sort of remember what she was referring to.

"You didn't do anything," she promised, shaking her head.

"Then what was it? We were friends, you lived with my family, I was there when you had your baby, I…"

"Yeah…" Quinn spoke, lowering her head, and Mercedes paused, looking at the blond as she sat back against her seat, closing her eyes with a sigh.

"Oh…" Mercedes sat back as well. Quiet resumed again, and neither of them disrupted it at first. Eventually, Quinn opened her eyes.

"Sometimes it's just… the littlest thing… I see a baby, or my mother, or Puck, or… you… and I'm back in that room, with her. Doesn't happen all the time, just… it still hurts," she admitted. "It's… stupid…"

"No, it's not," Mercedes promised.

"I knew what I was doing, why I was doing it, but…"

"Do you miss her?" she wasn't sure if Quinn's tears had begun before or after her words.

"I don't even remember what she looks like anymore…" she sniffled. "I thought I did, but… all I've got anymore are just… vague details… I can't see her whole face anymore, and that's the only image I'll ever have of her…"

"She's in a good home though, right?" Mercedes tried to help her toward the brighter side.

"She is," Quinn agreed, reaching to wipe a tear. No one really knew about just where Beth had ended up. There was her, and Puck, and Rachel eventually… and there was Mercedes.

"But it's not your home," Mercedes went on.

"I shouldn't have let that get in the way of… us, as friends…"

"Don't worry about it. All I wanted was to try and understand what happened, and… now I kind of have." Quinn managed a smile, nodding. "Maybe things aren't how they used to be for us anymore, but we can find a… new reality."

"Yeah, maybe…" Quinn agreed.

"For example, if you have a problem, you can come to me… or you can go to someone else… no harm, no foul…"

"Right back at you," Quinn smiled.

"I like your hair…" Mercedes moved them on to a friendlier topic.

"Thanks," Quinn ran her hand through the freshly cut hair. "Needed a change, you know? Breathe easier…"

"It'll be good for you," Mercedes agreed.

"I have no idea… I hope so… But I have no idea," Quinn admitted. "Summer, a new year, all about reinventing yourself, right? Think that works better when you know where you're starting off from. That would imply I knew who the hell I was anymore." Mercedes looked at her, trying to think of what to say.

"Take your time," she finally spoke up. "It's about finding your way. You don't owe it to anyone but yourself." Quinn nodded slowly.

"Thanks, Mercedes… really…" In response, she held out Lauren's headset to Quinn, grabbed her own and nodded to the screen. Quinn accepted the headset with a smile.

THE END

* * *

><p><strong><strong>AN: This is a one-shot ficlet, which means that signing up for story alert will not bring you any alerts.  
><strong>**In the event of a sequel, the story will be separate from this one. And as chapter stories go, they are  
><strong>******always clearly indicated as such [ex: "Days 204-210" in the summary] Thank you!********


End file.
